


To Thine Own Self Be True

by realityisoverrated



Series: Infinite Love [145]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, M/M, Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Smoaking billionaires, Toliver, flommy, no sex but it's discussed, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 10:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realityisoverrated/pseuds/realityisoverrated
Summary: Something unexpected happens at a party. Nate goes to his big brother and then his dads for advice.





	To Thine Own Self Be True

**Author's Note:**

> This story depicts a polyamorous relationship between one woman and two men. If this is not something you are interested in, please stop and go no further.
> 
> I started this installment eight months ago to the day. There have been multiple variations. I have picked it up and put it down for weeks at a time. It wasn't until I really started to listen to what Nate was trying to tell me that I was able to pull everything together. There isn't any underaged sex in this installment, but underaged sexual activity is discussed. 
> 
> This installment is 145/145. The chronological list for the series, with hyperlinks, can be found at http://archiveofourown.org/works/11051019
> 
> If you're new to the series, welcome. The more the merrier.

Artwork by Lademonessa

 

Bobby left his kitchen with two glasses of water and a bag of chips. His little brother was sitting on the sofa with his feet up on the coffee table. Bobby knocked into Nate’s legs as he walked by. “Shoes,” he huffed.

Nate removed his feet from the coffee table. “God, you’re just like daddy. So uptight.” He kicked off his sneakers and returned his feet to the table.

“I eat off this table. I don’t want your disgusting shoes on my dinner table,” Bobby said, handing his brother a glass of water. “Are you sure you don’t want me to make you anything?”

“I didn’t have that much to drink. Chips should be good enough,” Nate said taking the bag of chips from his brother.

“Well, you thought you had enough to drink that you should come here before you go home,” Bobby sat down on the opposite end of the sofa. “Where’s Prue?”

“I didn’t leave her at the party, if that’s what you’re accusing me of,” Nate snapped.

Bobby lifted his hands up, “Hey, I’m not accusing you of anything. It was just a question. Where’s our sister tonight?”

“She’s at Natalie’s, having a sleepover,” Nate said grumpily.

“Did you two have a fight?” Bobby asked. His little brother’s behavior didn’t match his story. Nate had allegedly come to see him because he was too drunk to go home and was afraid to face their parents. Bobby didn’t think Nate looked like he’d been drinking.

“No, we didn’t have a fight,” Nate said defensively.

“Okay. You didn’t have a fight with Prue. You’re not too drunk to go home and face our parents. Do you want to tell me why you showed up on my doorstep, all rainbows and sunshine, as I was on my way out for patrol?”

“If Will is waiting for you, you can go,” Nate said burrowing deeper into the cushions. “I’ll lock up when I leave.”

“Will isn’t the brother who needs me right now.” Bobby pointed to the television, “Do you want to talk, or do you want to watch something?”

Nate shrugged.

Bobby gave a voice command and the television began to play a sports recap show. He stuck his hand into the bag of chips and took a fistful. If his brother was going to sulk, Bobby wasn’t going to beg him to talk. He sent William a text with an update about Nate and settled in to watch television.

The sports recap show ended and Nate shifted at the far end of the sofa. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something and then snapped it shut.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Bobby asked.

Nate rested his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through his hair.

It was clear to Bobby that his brother was agitated and upset. Something happened at the party his brother had attended. Something that shook Nate enough he was afraid to go home. “What happened? Are you in trouble?”

Nate’s hands stilled. He turned his head to look at Bobby, his eyes were wet with unshed tears.

Bobby shifted down the sofa until he was next to his brother. He placed his hand on his Nate’s back, “I’m a pretty good listener and not so bad with secrets either.”

Nate lowered his eyes, but nodded his head, “I know.”

“What happened tonight?” Bobby asked gently.

Nate took a deep breath, his back shuddering beneath his brother’s hand. In a small voice, he asked, “Have you ever kissed a boy?”

“No,” Bobby admitted. “Have you?” he asked evenly.

Nate nodded his head.

Bobby was neither surprised or unsurprised by Nate’s admission. He’d never given much thought to his siblings’ sexuality. They were who they were, and he loved them unconditionally. “Tonight?”

Nate nodded his head.

“Was tonight the first time you’ve kissed a boy?”

Nate nodded his head.

Bobby did his best not to sigh with frustration. He wasn’t getting any read off his brother. He had no idea if Nate’s heart had been broken or if something else was going on. “How was it?”

Nate lifted his head, “How was what?

Bobby shook his head, “The kiss. Was it any good?”

Nate shrugged, “I guess.”

Bobby knocked his shoulder into his brother and grinned, “Come on, you know what a good kiss is like. Think of the best kiss you’ve had. Was this better or worse or the same?”

“I don’t have as much experience as you,” Nate said.

“I should hope not. You’re fifteen. Da would kill you,” Bobby teased. “You’ve kissed how many girls?”

Nate held up three fingers.

“A perfectly good sample. Now think of the best kiss you’ve had and how did this one compare?” Bobby prompted.

Nate smiled sheepishly, “It was a pretty good kiss. Evan knows what he’s doing.”

The smile on Nate’s face, flooded Bobby with relief.  Whatever was bothering Nate, it wasn’t a broken heart. “Evan? Do I know him?” He tried to remember his brother’s classmates, but he couldn’t place anyone named Evan.

“I don’t think so. We’re on the track team together. He runs hurdles. He’s a junior,” Nate responded.

Bobby waggled his eyebrows, “An older man.”

Nate rolled his eyes, “A year older.”

“Was this Evan’s first kiss with a boy?” Bobby asked trying to get to the root of his brother’s concerns.

Nate shook his head. “No, Evan’s gay. He’s out.”

“So, what happened?”

Nate shrugged. “It was a party. Everyone was drinking – hanging out. Evan and I were talking. I know he likes me. He flirts with me all the time at practice. I never flirt back.”

“Tonight?”

“I flirted back.” Nate looked back at his hands. “He pulled me into the laundry room, pushed me up against the wall and kissed me.” Nate looked at Bobby, “I kissed him back.”

“I don’t know how to ask this, so I’m just going to ask it – okay?” Bobby waited for Nate to nod his consent. “Are you bi?”

Nate covered his face, “I don’t know.”

“You like kissing girls?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, a lot,” Nate answered.

“Did you like kissing Evan?”

He shrugged. “I kissed him because I was curious. I mean our dads really like kissing each other and mom – I thought maybe I would too,” Nate answered. “Weren’t you ever curious?”

Bobby had never been curious enough to kiss a guy. From the time of his first wet dream, all he ever thought about were women. He loved everything about women. He loved having sex with women. It never occurred to him to kiss a guy, even with two bisexual fathers. “Honestly, no.”

“I thought I’d kiss Evan and realize that I’m straight and that would be that,” Nate continued. “But...”

“But you liked kissing Evan,” Bobby finished.

Nate nodded, “I – my – I – responded.”

“You got hard,” Bobby said with understanding.

“Yeah, so that must mean I’m bi, right?” Nate asked.

Bobby sighed. “Were you kissing? Was he touching you?”

Nate’s face turned bright red and he looked away, “He was rubbing me over my pants.”

“Do you want my answer as a doctor?” Bobby asked.

Nate nodded.

“You were receiving direct stimulation and you’re fifteen. When I was your age, a strong wind would give me an erection. Erections are involuntary. Your body responded because it was designed to respond when someone touches you. That doesn’t make you bi.”

“What does?” Nate asked.

“You do realize that we have experts on this topic in our family – you actually live with two of them,” Bobby reminded his brother.

Nate’s eyes widened in horror, “I can’t talk to them about this. I’ll have to sit through another sex talk.”

Bobby laughed in sympathy, “Yeah – they were painful.”

Nate’s eyes pleaded with him.

“Okay, I can only speak for myself, but I would think what makes you bisexual is how you feel when you’re not receiving direct stimulation. Do you have sexual thoughts about guys when you’re alone? Do you fantasize about guys?”

“No, not really,” Nate answered.

“Then I think that’s your answer,” Bobby said.

Nate gave his brother a nervous smile, “Thanks.”

“I need to meet William. Do you want to spend the night here or do you want me to take you home?” Bobby asked.

Nate stood up and walked around Bobby’s living room, “Do I look like I’ve been drinking?”

“You’ll pass mom, no problem. Dads won’t be fooled. For your sake, hopefully dads are already in bed,” Bobby answered truthfully. Nate didn’t look drunk to him, but their dads were both equipped with internal breathalyzers. They could detect the minutest traces of alcohol from one hundred yards away.

“Will you call them and tell them I’m staying here?” Nate asked.

“They’re going to be suspicious. Why should I tell them you came here?” Bobby asked. Nate was welcome to spend the night whenever he wanted, and if they’d had any other conversation, he wouldn’t care if he stayed. Bobby thought it would be best if Nate went home and confided in their dads. He was positive that they would be more helpful than he’d been able to be.

“I wasn’t having a good time, so I came over and fell asleep watching a movie?”

Bobby arched a brow, “Da will be over here in fifteen minutes.”

Nate sighed, “Fine. I’ll just go home and face the music.”

Bobby grabbed his keys and slung an arm around his brother’s shoulders, “Admit to one beer.”

“I only had one beer,” Nate said earnestly.

“Good, stick with that story,” Bobby grinned.

“I thought big brothers were supposed to get you out of trouble,” Nate complained.

“If I protect you on the little things, they’ll be suspicious when I rescue you on the big things,” Bobby answered.

“Big things?” Nate asked.

Bobby pushed the elevator call button. “Yeah, if I ever need to bail you out of jail in Vegas, it’s better that you take the lumps for one beer.”

“Wait. Did William bail you out of jail in Vegas?” Nate followed Bobby onto the elevator.

Bobby looked at his brother with wide eyed innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

Nate stood between his dads as they prepared dinner for their baseball viewing party. The Starling City Rockets were playing the Gotham Knights in the playoffs. They were expecting Dig, Roy, William and Bobby. Felicity and Prue had very little interest in baseball and had decided on having a girl’s night out. Nate was being unusually quiet, but Oliver assumed it was because he’d been grounded for two weeks for drinking.

Oliver pushed a cutting board with two red onions and a knife towards Nate, “Dice both.”

“How did I end up on onion detail?” Nate complained good naturedly.

“It’s the only reason we had children,” Oliver said drolly. “Your dad and I needed sous chefs and your mom is not to be trusted in the kitchen.”

Nate was in charge of the guacamole preparation and had finished dicing the onion. He put half in a bowl for the guacamole and the other in another bowl for Tommy’s use. He was deveining a jalapeno when he casually said, “I kissed a boy last night.”

Oliver looked over his son’s lowered head at his husband. Tommy looked as surprised as Oliver felt. Their son had only ever expressed an interest in the opposite sex. Oliver felt a little panic as he realized they were remaining silent longer than they should be, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Nate shrugged as he continued to prepare the guacamole, “I don’t know.”

“Hey,” Tommy gently placed his hand on Nate’s wrist to stop his son from chopping, “you can tell your dad and me anything. We love you and nothing will ever change that.”

Nate put his knife down and moved to the sink. He washed his hands and dried them on a towel. He turned to face his dads and then leaned against the counter. “Did you know you liked kissing boys when you were my age?”

“I knew I liked kissing your dad,” Oliver answered.

“But did you know you liked kissing boys before you kissed dad?”

“Your dad is the only boy I’ve ever kissed,” Oliver responded. He could tell from the look on his son’s face that he wasn’t being helpful. “I’m not answering your question. Help me understand what you’re asking.”

Nate looked at Tommy, “What about you?”

“When I was your age, I knew that I was attracted to your dad. It wasn’t until I was in college that I admitted to myself that I was attracted to men other than your dad. Your dad isn’t the only man I’ve kissed.”

Nate tried again, “Did you know you were going to like kissing da before you kissed him?”

Oliver glanced over at his husband and smiled, “I was attracted to your dad before I ever kissed him. It’s why I kissed him. It’s why I came up with an excuse to kiss him. I didn’t know I was going to like it. I didn’t like kissing the first time – it was the second kiss that I enjoyed.”

“The boy you kissed, do you like him?” Tommy inquired.

Nate shrugged and then looked away, “Evan, he’s all right. We’re on the track team together. He’s gay.”

“Did you want to kiss him?” Tommy tried again to get their son to open up.

Nate looked back to his dads, “Yeah. I was curious.”

“Curious about kissing, in general, or about kissing a boy?” Tommy continued his line of gentle parental prodding.

“Da, I’ve kissed girls before,” Nate said defensively.

Tommy lifted his hands in apology, “Okay. So, you were curious about kissing a boy or this boy?”

Nate shrugged again, “A boy - I guess.”

Oliver wished their son hadn’t inherited his closed lip tendencies and was more of a sharer like his da. Something didn’t seem right with Nate’s behavior. Whenever Bobby or Becca talked about the person they liked, there was always a lot of smiling and blushing. Nate was doing neither. Oliver didn’t know if it was because he was worried about telling them he liked boys or if he didn’t have a crush on the boy he kissed. “Did you like kissing Evan?”

Nate’s face turned thoughtful and he remained silent for a moment. “He is a good kisser. It was a good kiss, but,” Nate blushed.

“But?” Tommy encouraged their son to continue.

Nate looked away, “Never mind.”

“Don’t do that. Talk to us,” Tommy encouraged. “We might be able to help.”

Nate’s face and ears turned bright red and he looked at his feet, “Bobby said that my response could’ve been involuntary.”

“You got aroused,” Oliver stated with understanding. He remembered the first time his body had responded to Tommy. He’d been so surprised when it happened. His initial reaction was greed – he wanted more – he was desperate for more. It was his desperation that frightened him the most. He’d wanted Tommy, but he’d also believed that wanting his best friend was dangerous.

Nate nodded, but didn’t look up. “He touched me,” he admitted, barely above a whisper.

“Even at the risk of embarrassing you, I’m going to talk about sex and your dad and me.” Tommy warned their son. “I was twelve the first time your dad and I French kissed - I got an erection,” Tommy informed Nate. “It scared me. Everything I’d ever been taught made me believe that I was only supposed to want to kiss girls. I thought I wasn’t supposed to feel the way I was feeling about another boy. I knew that if my dad ever found out, something bad would happen to me. I spent three years thinking about that kiss and hating myself for wanting another one. Even after your dad kissed me again, I still thought it was wrong.” He took his son’s hand, “Nathaniel, there is nothing wrong with wanting to kiss another boy. There is nothing wrong with enjoying being kissed or touched by another boy.”

Nate looked up with surprise. “I know that. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you and daddy.” He looked between his dads, “How do I know if I’m like you? How do I know if I like boys as much as girls?”

“Let’s forget about Evan for a moment,” Oliver suggested. “Do you ever think about wanting to do more than kiss other boys?”

Nate shook his head, “No, not really.”

“Not really, isn’t a real answer. No, or not really a lot, but sometimes?” Tommy pushed.

“Before last night, I never thought about more than kissing a boy,” Nate answered.

“So, what happened last night?” Oliver asked gently.

Nate folded his arms across his chest, “I just thought that I’m your son and you and da like kissing each other and mom and maybe I’m the same way, but I just don’t know it. Evan was there. He was flirting with me and I thought, if I kissed a boy, I might like it too, or I wouldn’t, but, at least, I’d know.”

“Did you like it?” Oliver asked.

“Bobby said that he’s never wanted to kiss a boy,” Nate answered.

“We’re not talking about Bobby. We’re talking about you. There’s no wrong answer to your dad’s question,” Tommy said. “Your dad and I will love you, no matter what your answer is.”

Nate’s eyes filled with tears, “If I come out and say I like kissing boys, they’ll say it’s your fault. They’ll say you made me this way.”

Oliver stood up straight, “Who will say that?”

“Everyone,” Nate said as tears spilled down his cheeks. “What if they take me away?”

“Who is going to take you away?” Oliver asked with confusion.

“I don’t know – the people who take kids away – the government,” Nate said as he wiped at his tears.

“Oh, buddy,” Tommy said taking Nate into his arms. “No one is ever going to take you from us.”

“But what if they think I’m just trying to imitate you and it’s not who I really am?” Nate asked, his voice muffled by Tommy’s shoulder. “What if they say you brainwashed me?”

“Bud, if I was going to brainwash you into doing anything, it would be to put your laundry in the hamper,” Tommy said.

“Da, I’m being serious. You know what they say about you and daddy and mom,” Nate said.

Oliver snapped out of his shock and wrapped his arms around his husband and son. He kissed the top of Nate’s head. “You never need to worry about anyone taking you. They can’t take you away from us because you like boys and girls. You won’t need to prove anything to anyone.”

The fact that his son was afraid to be himself because he thought there was a chance someone would take him from his family made Oliver beyond angry. His anger clawed at his chest, demanding to be unleashed against the people who shared their hate with his son. As much as Oliver, Tommy and Felicity had tried to shield the children from the ugly things that were said about them, they couldn’t protect the children from all of it. Over the years, plenty of people had publicly called them deviants and unfit to be parents. There was plenty of speculation about the values they were using to raise their children. Oliver always thought the puerile obsession with their sex lives spoke more to their detractor’s psychological wellbeing than their own.

“Your dad’s right,” Tommy assured their son. “Can you even imagine what your mom would do if someone tried to take you away from us?”

Nate huffed a small laugh, “She would bring the pain.”

“They wouldn’t know what hit ‘em,” Tommy said with a grin.

“Straight, gay, bi, however you choose to identify yourself, your mom, dad and I will be right here loving you,” Oliver promised. “We love you. Nothing will ever change that.”

“I love you too,” Nate responded.

The three stood in the middle of their kitchen holding onto one another.

“Everything okay?” Bobby asked as he entered the kitchen.

“We were cutting onions,” Tommy answered as he let go of Nate.

“I know I always need a hug after cutting onions,” Bobby said incredulously.

“It’s all right,” Nate said wiping his eyes. “Bobby kind of knows.”

“What do I kind of know?” Bobby asked as he looked between his dads before settling on his brother.

Nate stood straight, “I’m bi.”

“Cool,” Bobby responded.

Bobby slung his arm around his brother’s shoulders and pointed at the counter. “They’re letting you make the guac?”

“Yeah,” Nate said.

“You never dice the onion fine enough,” Bobby said washing his hands.

Nate rolled his eyes, “Just because you’re doing your surgical rotation doesn’t mean you’re better at chopping than me.”

Bobby dried off his hands, “That’s your first mistake. You should be dicing, not chopping.” He picked up the knife and began to move it efficiently through the onion Nate had already chopped.

“You realize that you’re not normal?” Nate asked as he slid a knife through an avocado.

“I’m aware.” Bobby reached over Nate and palmed one of the limes his brother had lined up with the avocados. “You also use too much lime juice.”

“I don’t,” Nate said taking the lime back. “You don’t use enough.”

Oliver put his arm around Tommy’s waist and guided him into the hall. He quietly asked, “You okay?”

“Yes. Are you?” Tommy pulled his husband close.

“It’s going to be better for him than us, right?” Oliver asked. He never wanted their son to experience the self-loathing and fear that they did.

Tommy cupped Oliver’s face in his hands, “Ollie, he won’t go through what we did. He knows, without a doubt, that his mom and dads love him. He knows there is nothing wrong with how he feels – and if he forgets, we’ll remind him. He won’t be doing this alone. Besides, things worked out okay for us.”

Oliver brushed his lips against Tommy’s, “I love you.”

A huge smile spread across Tommy’s face, “Never gets old. I love you too.”

“Dads,” Nate called from the kitchen, “Bobby says I shouldn’t put cilantro in the guac.”

“No, I said don’t put two bunches in,” Bobby clarified.

Oliver dropped his forehead to Tommy’s and they both laughed. “Another typical Saturday night with the Merlyn-Queen-Smoaks,” Tommy said before placing a kiss to Oliver’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated. 
> 
> Ten more business days left in my work year. I hope to be able to return to a more regular posting schedule soon. I was thinking of doing holiday postings again this year. Let me know if there is anything you'd like to see in this verse for the Merlyn-Queen-Smoak holidays. It can be anywhere on their timeline. 
> 
> You can also come say hi to me on tumblr. http://realityisoverrated-fic.tumblr.com


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